Hi pals – I’ve been using my thinking hat lately… I’ve seen the lady staff feeling blue recently and I cannot understand why. So, last night, I decided to spend some time with her and purr away her problems.
While I was trying to purr away her problems, I could feel her sadness and why she feels this way. It made me so sad that humans focus so much on what they are different than on what they are the same. Bear with me for a moment…
So, lady staff is from Brazil – a culture that welcomes all, that does not seem to focus on our differences but mostly on our commonality – such as, you’re my friend’s wife, therefore, we’re friends; you’re my niece husband, therefore we’re family, as well as your parents and family – all this with no reservation and no expectations; we add, we do not subtract. But here, in the US of A, especially a northern east culture – is quite the opposite. They thrive is ostracizing people that are different. They enjoy keeping the division and discussing what makes us different and keeps us apart.
This had been extremely hard on lady staff as this is dude staff culture. Meaning that for 3 years we’re living in NYC, she was always reminded of why she’s different in so many ways them all of them and kept aside. Lady staff is fortunate that dude staff is her best friend – but still, she always felt lonely on social events as she did not have any friends – dude staff has them but they’re not her friends, she felt invisible (there are always exceptions to the rules though 🙃)
Since we’ve moved to Denver – she has experienced a different aspect of “American culture” – people being nice, people truly welcoming her and appreciate who she is, people focus on people. Couples are couples, couples are best friends and hang out with each other – instead of looking forward to a moment away from their spouses. Here, lady staff was able to stop feeling like she’s invisible.
She’s been sad, as she’s been treated as invisible again. She’s being pushed aside and not considered. She’s been disrespect in her own home while hosting dude staff friend. What I tell them is “How dare you?” – how dare you think that you can move your touchy all the way to our home to “forget” about a person that lives there and not considering that while hosting you. How dare you make plans with our dude staff and other friends and not include her in those plans? How dare you? If your explanation will go to the “culture” aspect of things, I don’t need to have my thinking hat on to understand that this is not a culture thing, this is a respect and consideration thing. I’m sorry that you’re not taught this kind of values while living on your high castle. You’re visiting dude and lady staff, they are a “we” not a “you and I”.
I told her not to feel this way, I told her that she’s not invisible, that she’s loved. And while she’s away from home, away from her friends and family – we love her, dude staff loves her. We’re a tight group of best friends – and she shouldn’t allow people to make her feel this way.
I guess that my point is: teach your kids, your neighbor, your co-worker the importance of respect and acceptance. The importance of consideration and empathy. The importance of clear and honest communication. Learn to include other not because diversity is “in” and “trending”, but because we’re all the same – we’re all living in this world, sharing this land and that we include because of what we have in common.
Again, humans, #BeMoreCat